


Series of One-Shots Where Chara is Absolutely Terrified of People who would Never Ever Hurt Them

by QuantumFeat72



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Nonbinary Chara (Undertale), One Shot, One Shot Collection, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 20:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21203405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuantumFeat72/pseuds/QuantumFeat72
Summary: You're not afraid.  But more to the point, you're notsupposedto be afraid.  The cool air rushes against your skin, and the people mull about around you, speaking in hushed tones, but they aren't afraid.  And neither are you, or at least you're not supposed to be.---Because apparently this is a theme in my writing.(All the metadata on this is subject to be edited if/when fics are added.)





	1. Path to Ground

**Author's Note:**

> (That little "excerpt" in the summary isn't part of any of these fics - it doesn't have a fic to be attached to but I'm proud of it, so it seemed appropriate for this.)
> 
> Anyway, welcome to this dumb thing. I'm gonna leave it marked as "complete" even if I add more since I can never be sure whether or not I will. Since these should all be stand-alone, I'll put warnings in the notes for each chapter (though anything relevant to any of them is also in the tags). Lengths vary wildly. This is basically just a dumping ground for stuff I write that fits the theme and isn't part of something longer.
> 
> (As of writing this, I have two "chapters" written, so I'll put both of 'em up today.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know it isn't real, but it's nice to pretend for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The one with Gerson in it. This was originally gonna be the beginning of something longer, but that ship has sailed.
> 
> 5,063 words
> 
> Warnings:  
\- referenced attempted suicide  
\- referenced child abuse

“Please don’t kill me.”

Your voice breaks a little as you speak, the words making their way out of your throat like sandpaper.You’re too proud for this.You always thought you’d go into the void with your head held high like a god damn martyr.

Not like this.Not curled up in a dark corner in god knows where, begging for your worthless life with tears in your eyes.

“Please.”

The figure in the doorframe takes a step toward you and you flinch away, covering your face and shaking violently.

“I don’t want to die _please_-”

“I am not going to kill you,” says the figure in the doorframe with a deep, imposing voice.The light flicks on and you force yourself to look up at it.

An impossibly tall creature with horns as long as you are tall and fangs that poke out of its mouth stares solemnly down at you.

It takes another step toward you and you can’t stop yourself from flinching again.You force yourself not to cover your face, instead clutching your knees with both hands.You wait silently as it gets closer and closer before stopping less than a foot away from you.

It kneels in front of you and it’s close enough to reach out at any moment and impale you on its massive claws.Close enough to kill you in an instant.Its horns look even bigger up close.Its eyes are red.

It places something on the ground in front of you and you force yourself to look away from its face to check the floor.

It’s... food?

A bowl of what looks like some kind of soup sits innocently on the carpet.You breathe in through your nose and smell chicken, or chicken broth.You look back up at the monster, who’s watching you expectantly.

“You must be hungry,” it says.“Please, eat.”

You start to object, but you don’t know what happens if you say no to this monster.Slowly, carefully, you reach for the bowl and pull it toward you.

The soup, besides most likely being poisoned, is delicious.You find yourself mostly looking away from the monster while you eat, although your eyes still instinctively dart up to it every time it moves.

It doesn’t leave while you eat, and when you’re finished you place the bowl gently on the floor again and force yourself to whisper, “Th-thank you.”

“You are quite welcome, little one.”The monster takes the bowl and stands up, and you relax a little as it walks to the other side of the room, where it rests the bowl on the dresser before turning back to you.

Your pulse quickens as it steps toward you again, but it stops when you flinch away.

There is silence for a long moment before it speaks.“You don’t have to be afraid, human.I am not going to hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid,” you lie.

The monster seems to consider what you said, silently running a claw through the folds of its cape, before sitting crosslegged on the floor.“My name is Asgore,” it tells you.“My son, Asriel, is the one who found you after you fell.Do you remember?”

This sounds familiar, and as you think about it the memory becomes palpable.You nod.

“He said you introduced yourself as ‘Chara.’Is that right?”

“Y-yes.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chara.”

“Um,” you try to remember what it just said its name was, but you can’t seem to.“Y-you, too,” you stammer anyway, hoping it doesn’t care.

The monster grins at you and you can’t help but stare at its fangs again.It seems to notice your expression and repeats, “It’s alright, little one.I’m not going to hurt you.You’re safe here.”

You push yourself a little farther into the corner and look away, wishing you could believe a word of that.

“You don’t believe me,” says the monster quietly, more to himself than to you.

There’s no use denying it - you’re no good at lying - so you shake your head slowly.“I’m sorry,” you whisper, not meeting his eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he says quickly.“It’s alright.I... I understand.”You hazard a glance at him and see that he’s looking at the floor, expression grim.After a moment, he stands up and turns to leave.“Well, I’ll let you be.If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to come and ask.”

“W-wait,” you say without fully thinking it through, and the monster stops at the door and turns to look at you.You immediately regret stopping him, but you swallow and ask your question anyway.“Um, if...If you’re not going to kill me, then what...”You wait a moment, thinking maybe he’ll interrupt and answer before you finish, but he doesn’t.“What ARE you going to do?” you ask finally.

The monster says nothing for a long moment, and you start to think you’ve done something wrong and made him angry, but when he sighs and turns away from you he doesn’t sound angry - just sad.“If you’d like to stay here,” he says, “you may.Otherwise, we will bring you to the barrier so that you can return home.”

You stare at him for a long moment, trying to process what he said, until he opens the door and leaves without another word.

* * *

You spend what feels like a few hours silently exploring the bedroom you woke up in.It looks like it belongs to a kid about your age - Asriel, you guess, remembering what he’d told you when you fell.There’s a box at the foot of the bed with a small mountain of toys in it.You take one out - a knitted doll that looks like it was made by hand - and turn it over in your hands a few times.You remind yourself stubbornly that you have to be careful not to break it.

You return the doll to the box.You don’t feel like playing and you wouldn’t really be sure what to do with all these toys anyway.Besides, it’s rude to play with other people’s things without permission.You sit on the bed again and inspect your leg.You must not have hurt it as badly as you thought, because you can barely feel it anymore.You’d been sure it was broken, but you can put weight on it just fine and the bandage on it seems more decorative than useful at this point.(The whole thing is pure white, never used.)

You lie on the bed and stare at the ceiling, finally letting yourself consider what that monster told you.That they’d let you stay here if you wanted.

He couldn’t have really meant that, right?

You shut your eyes and roll onto your side.This is a trap.You have no idea _how_ it’s a trap, but you’re sure it is.If you ask to say, they’ll use it against you somehow.You’re sure of it.

You remember all the stories they told on the surface about the monsters on Mt. Ebott.How they ate children and raided villages and all that.You wonder briefly if they only fed you to fatten you up so they can eat you later.

If you asked them to let you go home, would they really do it?If you asked to stay here, would they really...

You hear a knock on the door and sit up, backing into the corner of the bed.After a moment, the door opens, just slightly, and you see the face of the littler monster who helped you before.He stares at you for a moment before asking, “Do you mind if I come in?”

You aren’t sure why he bothered asking - this is his room, after all, not yours - but you nod and he enters and shuts the door behind him, never taking his eyes off of you.You stare right back at him, ready to move quickly if he attacks.

“How’s your leg?” he asks, plodding toward you with a curious expression.“Mom said she couldn’t heal it all the way - does it still hurt?”

“Huh?No...”Suddenly, what he said clicks in your mind.“Wait, what do you mean she... she _healed_ it?”

Asriel chuckles a little.“Yeah,” he says, walking ever closer, “Mom’s really good at green magic.I couldn’t even heal a paper-cut yet.”You find yourself unable to take your eyes off of him.The thought that this is normal to him - that magical healing is something he takes for granted...

Asriel sits down on the bed and turns to face you, pulling his legs up and sitting crosslegged by the edge.You push yourself a little farther into the corner and hug your knees to your chest.

“Why?” you ask after a moment of him trying to figure out what to say.He gives you a curious look and you clarify, “Why did she heal it?”

That only seems to worsen his confusion.“Uh, because you were hurt?”

You shake your head and backtrack a bit.“Why are you helping me?”

Asriel tilts his head to the side and pushes himself a little closer to you on the bed.You decide to keep talking and hope he’ll start to understand.

“Um, your... your dad?I think that was your dad.Um, he said...” you start to ask if you can stay, but hesitate for a moment and decide against it.“He said you would help me get home.”

“Well, yeah.Is... is that weird?”

“Of course it’s weird!You don’t have any reason to help me.I haven’t done anything for _you_.”You take a deep breath and kick yourself mentally for your outburst.“I just... want to understand,” you finish, hoping not to piss him off.Hoping you haven’t already.

Asriel is silent for a few minutes, going back and forth between staring at you and looking at the door.Finally, he says, “Okay, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but...”

You feel your pulse quicken, expecting him to say something like ‘we’re planning to eat you.’

“Well, Mom and Dad are worried that if you can’t get back, the other humans are gonna come looking for you.So, I guess that’s part of it?I don’t really understand what the problem is, though.”

You stare at him for a little bit, trying to think of what to say.He rubs the back of his head nervously.

“Don’t tell them I told you, okay?”

“Okay.”You look at your feet and decide you want Asriel to trust you, so you’ll tell him something else in return.“Don’t... don’t tell them this either, but they’re wrong.Nobody’s gonna come looking for me.”

“What? How come?”

You close your eyes and continue bitterly, “They probably won’t notice I’m gone, and if they do they’ll be glad.”

“No way! That’s not true.”

“It is!They all wanna get rid of me ‘cause I’m too dangerous to keep around.”You catch yourself and bite your tongue, looking down again.Asriel leans back.

“You don’t look dangerous,” he says.

“Easy for you to say,” you tell him.“You’ve got fangs and claws and _magic_.”You bare your teeth at him and growl, “But I’m the most dangerous human there is.”

“Nuh _uh_.”

“Yuh _huh!_Last week I almost killed someone!”

“No way!...Why?”

You shift your legs so you can gesture with your arms and make a fist.“He took my lunch,” you say and punch your other palm.“So I punched his face until it bled.”

Asriel’s face scrunches up in disgust and you’re dimly aware that you really aren’t making your situation any better.You grab your ankles and scoot back into the corner.“My parents beat me up over it, but whatever.Once I’m big enough I’ll beat THEM up.”

Something in the back of your head reminds you that you’re talking _way_ too much and he’s probably gonna be mad about it.You decide you don’t have the energy to care, even though your hands shake a little when you let go of your legs.

Asriel is silent for a long moment.“Your parents... beat you _up_?”

You’re dead.You’re _so_ dead.If the monsters don’t kill you, your parents will.You try to think of a lie to make it sound like you were joking, but Asriel takes your hesitation for a non-answer, which he takes for a yes.

“That’s awful,” he says.

“It’s not a big deal,” you tell him quietly.“I deserved it.”You wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t.You swallow and whisper, “Don’t... Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees without even hesitating.

* * *

That night they let you eat at the table with them for dinner.It’s some kind of meat with buttered dinner rolls and a vegetable mush that Asriel’s mother has to bribe him into eating.You’re not sure what his problem is - it may not be as good as everything else, but its still _loads_ better than what you’re used to.

You still wonder if they’re only trying to fatten you up, but you also know that veggies are supposed to keep you thin, and Asriel’s mother loads your plate with them when you try to tell Asriel you’ll eat his.

You offer to help with the dishes afterward, because you’re pretty sure that’s the polite thing to do when you’re a guest in someone else’s home.Asriel’s mother ruffles your hair (which is absolutely terrifying, with her massive claws) and tells you it’s fine, why don’t you go play with Asriel.

You’re starting to think you can trust Asriel a little, so you don’t try to object.

* * *

“What do you wanna do?” asks Asriel, and you realize you have no idea how to answer.You don’t even know _how_ to play with other kids, and you think if you follow your instincts you’ll end up embarrassing yourself.

“Um,” you stammer, “I don’t know.What do you want to do?”

Asriel sticks his tongue out at you.“I dunno, what do _you_ wanna do?”

Have you initiated a game of some kind?You decide to double down.“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

“I dunno, what do _you_ wanna do?”

“I don’t know, what do _you_ want to do?”

“Children, please.”Asriel’s mother peers into the room.

He points a claw at you.“They started it!”

“Did not!” you interject.(Wait, ‘they’?)

“Did too!”

Asriel’s mom enters the room and you take an instinctive step backward.You did _not_ sign up to be a scapegoat, but there’s no way she’ll believe you over her own son.

“I do not care who _started_ it, Asriel,” she says, and you let out the breath you were holding.“If you are having trouble deciding what to play, why not start with a suggestion?”

“I wanna know what humans do for fun,” Asriel retorts before looking at you.“What sort of games did you play on the surface?”

He waits excitedly and his mother looks at you expectantly and your feet get cold.“Um, I... I don’t know any games for two people,” you admit.

“What about three people?” he asks.“Mom can play, can’t you, Mom?”

Asriel’s mother laughs and calls to the kitchen, “Dear, can you handle the dishes?”You can’t hear her husband’s response, but it seems like it’s in the affirmative.

You wish that made this better.“I d-don’t know any three person games either,” you stammer, hoping they won’t get upset at you for disappointing them.“J-just one person games.”

“Aw,” says Asriel.“Not any?”

You shake your head no and his mother ruffles his head-fur and says, “Why don’t we play a nice game of scrabble?”

Asriel groans loudly.“Mom, you ALWAYS win at scrabble.”

“What’s scrabble?” you hear yourself ask.

* * *

Before long you find yourselves situated at the dining table playing scrabble.Asriel seems upset that you’re having fun with it, but you think that’s just because you’re beating him.At some point, his dad joins in and the four of you spend hours playing.

“Oh, by the way, Chara,” says Asriel’s dad at some point, “I was wondering, have you come to a decision?”

“Huh?About what?”

He exchanges a glance with his wife and they both look at you when he answers, “Would you like to stay here?Or, would you prefer to go home?”

“...Oh,” you say.“About that.Um...”You twirl a block in your hands under the table nervously.

This is nice.This is really, really nice.You want to stay like this forever.

But it isn’t real.It can’t be real.It’s some kind of a trap, or joke, and you’ll never live it down if you tell them you want to stay.

“I want to go home,” you lie.

* * *

Asriel insists on letting you sleep in his bed and lays out a sleeping bag on the floor next to it.It isn’t long after his mom kisses him goodnight and leaves when you hear him starting to snore.You can’t even think about sleeping right now.

What the hell are you doing?You don’t want to go home.You didn’t climb Mount Fucking Ebott just to come crawling back because you got spooked by a bunch of monsters.You signed up to get _eaten_ by monsters, not coddled and healed by them.

You roll on your side and try to keep yourself from crying.There’s no way your parents will take you back now.You’ll have to stay on the top of the mountain and live off the land.You’ll starve to death eventually, or freeze, but you’ll have longer that way than if you admit you want to stay and they eat you.

Besides, you doubt they’ll let you go back on your word.You have no idea what it’ll take to make them angry.You should play it safe until you can get out.

But the surface...

You don’t want to go back.

Slowly, silently, you push the covers off of yourself and crawl out of bed.You make your way out of Asriel’s room and into the living room.Seems like his parents have gone to bed already, so you relax a little and head out the front door.

There’s an old tree out front - it’s completely bare, with a pile of dried, dead leaves under it.They crackle under your bare feet (you didn’t have time to look for your shoes) and you can’t help but smile a bit.It’s funny - you didn’t think the trees down here would reflect the seasons.

You head to the left, remembering some old advice you heard about how you can make sure not to get lost in caves by always going left, and before long the path dead-ends into a balcony.You walk up to it and peer over the railing at the city.It’s huge.You can hear sounds coming from it - voices and people shuffling about - and if you look closely you can see monsters in the streets.

You turn around and look for a way down.

The monsters don’t seem to mind or notice your presence, and you slip between streets as you explore with practiced ease.You find places to watch the monsters from, overhear conversations about banal topics, listen to the music that seems to come from nowhere...

“Woah there!”

You turn sharply to see the person who spoke: a turtle monster holding a massive hammer.Your breath quickens and you step backward just a little.Satisfied he has your attention, the monster continues.

“It’s a little late for kiddos to be walking about,” he says, putting the head of the hammer on the ground and resting against it.“Are you lost?”

You shake your head no, unsure about whether to speak.The monster grins and holds out his hand.

“Wahaha!timid little one, arent’cha?I’m Gerson.”

You accept the hand and he shakes it vigorously before letting go.“You got a name, little ‘un?”

“Chara,” you reply nervously.

“Chara, huh?Nice name.So where’re ya tryin’ to get?”

You wrinkle your nose at him.“I’m not lost,” you repeat.

“Y’sure _look_ lost.Where’s your parents?”

You shake your head again.“I’m _not_ lost.”

Gerson narrows his eyes at you and you shift your feet, preparing to run.

“Alright,” he says after a moment.“I’ll take yer word for it, but I’m coming with ya wherever you’re headed.”

“What?Why?”

Gerson smiles back at you, but it’s not a real smile.“I’m the head a the royal guard, kiddo.S’my job ta make sure everyone’s safe.”He glances from side to side and gets a little closer to whisper, “And between you an’ me, I ain’t keen on lettin’ a _human_ run about unsupervised.”

There’s a bite to his words and you find yourself glancing back at his hammer.There’s... there’s no refusing this monster.You nod your head silently.

For a little while, you think you’re putting on a convincing ‘I know where I’m going’ act, but when you pass the same hot dog shop again you realize the jig’s probably up.Gerson makes idle conversation you only sort-of engage in, and once you’re tired of waiting for him to quit the act, you sit down on a bench in a quieter part of town.Gerson follows suit and you scoot back a bit to make room for him.

“So,” he says when you make no move to speak.“Y’still aren’t lost?”

You pull your knees to your chest and reply, “I know where I am.I just... don’t know where I’m going.”

Gerson laughs and pats you on the back and you can’t help but flinch.“Shouldn’t ya be back at the Dreemurrs’ place?”

“Dreamers?”

“Yeah, y’know.The king and queen.”Gerson looks expectantly at your blank stare.“Agsore and Toriel?An’ Asriel.”

“They’re _royalty?_” you say, more to yourself than to him.

“Din’ they tell ya?”Gerson asks, and you shake your head no.

“How did you know I’d even met them?” you ask.

Gerson laughs again.“Head a the royal guard, kiddo.Asgore don’t let humans into his house without my knowing.”

You look back out at the street, suddenly nervous.You weren’t supposed to leave.You knew that, but you didn’t think you get into _this much _trouble over it.If Asriel and his parents are royalty...Does that make you a criminal?Are you going to jail?

“...You alright, kiddo?” asks Gerson, and you can’t look back at him.You just.Can’t.

You fiddle with the cloth of your pants for a bit before realizing that Gerson is actually waiting for a response.You take a deep breath.“Head of the royal guard.You work for them.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Are you gonna take me back?”

“Well... well, yeah.”

You bury your face in your knees and will yourself not to cry.This is fucking stupid, you shouldn’t be crying over it.You force yourself to look back at him.“What if I don’t want to go back?Are you gonna make me?”

Gerson is silent for a bit, reading your expression, and seems to choose his next words carefully.“I didn’t think I’d need to.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

He hesitates again, and doesn’t meet your eyes when he speaks.“Yeah.”

You nod, looking back out at the street.You fold your legs and scoot back on the bench so you can sit crosslegged and hug yourself by your pajama sleeves instead.You briefly consider your options, but there’s probably no way to get away from this monster, and even if you did it would only be a matter of time before they found you again.You take a breath and look down at your knees.

“How much trouble am I in?” you ask.

“Hm?”

“For running away.Are... are you gonna kill me?”

“Wh- KILL ya?”Gerson stares at you for a minute before returning his gaze to the street.“What are they teachin’ you kids nowadays... kill ya.No we’re not gonna _kill_ ya.”

You pull your legs to your chest again, wishing you found this even remotely comforting.You shouldn’t have assumed.You’ve made him angry.You brace yourself silently for whatever comes next.“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

Gerson goes silent for a bit and replies, “You have nothin’ ta be sorry for.”

You want to believe that, but you don’t.Gerson sighs quietly before looking back at you.

“So Chara,” he says, “Why’d ya run off?”

You tighten your grip on your knees and try to think of an excuse.Gerson stares at you with an expression you can’t read and your brain comes up empty but you can’t tell him the truth you don’t even _know_ the truth-

“Did Asgore not tell ya?They’re plannin’ on tryna get you home.”

Your mind quiets for a moment.He told Gerson they’d bring you home, but... he didn’t mention the ’decision’ he’d given you earlier.You shut your eyes to keep from crying.They never intended to let you stay, did they?“He told me,” you say quietly.You hear Gerson shift next to you.

“So what’s the matter?” he asks.“Don’t believe him?”

You bury your face in your knees and reply without thinking.“I don’t want to go home.”You catch yourself and bite your tongue, trying to think of a way to backtrack.You can’t admit that.You can’t let them find out.Gerson is going to tell them.You’re so dead.

“You know, I bet if ya told Asgore that, he wouldn’t make ya.”

You hug your knees tighter and will yourself not to shake.“I can’t trust this,” you whisper.“They’re being so nice - _too_ nice.It’s not... It has to be a trap.I can’t...”

“Kid...”

“Please don’t tell them I said that.”

You look up to see that Gerson is staring at you with an expression of worry on his face.“You don’t hafta be scared, kid.”

You sniffle and bury your face in your knees again.You’ve fucked up for the last time - you’re sure of it.Whatever time you could’ve had left is dwindling fast.You fail to stop yourself from crying.

Gerson starts rubbing your back gently and you flinch a little but don’t try to stop him.After a few minutes of this, he leans back and says, “You know, there’s a thing you oughta know about the barrier.”

“...What?”

“The barrier.Ya know, the big magic spell keepin’ us all trapped down here.”He sighs.“In theory, a human soul should be able to cross it alone.Thing is... that’s never happened.Y’see, there’ve been others to fall before you, but none of ‘em left _alone_, per se...”Gerson’s expression grows dark and you inch backward on the seat.“Odds are, humans can cross it just fine, but there’s a smidgin’ of a chance you _can’t_.”Gerson doesn’t look back at you.There’s silence for a moment before he asks, “Are you getting my drift, youngin?”

You don’t know how to respond to that, so you just stare blankly until Gerson looks back at you.He laughs at your expression and ruffles your hair.

“Wahaha!Well, don’t worry about it just yet.It’s a long way from here to the barrier.”He takes your hand in his and stands up.“Come on, let’s get you back before they realize you’re gone.”

* * *

You don’t get back before they realize you’re gone.Gerson goes into the house first and you follow close behind, hoping to God that you can crawl back into bed and pretend your little excursion never happened.You hear Toriel’s voice before you see her, and before you know it you’ve been picked up and she’s hugging you to her chest six feet above the ground.“Oh thank goodness!Are you alright?”She puts you down and looks closely at you and you recoil instinctively from her stare.

“I’m f-fine,” you stutter.Toriel runs her claws through your hair again and you almost manage not to flinch away this time.

“Where have you been?” she asks, and you take a step backward and duck your head.

Gerson interjects before you can think of what to say.“Found ‘em wandering the city,” he says.“I think they were just lookin’ for a spot of fresh air and got lost.”

“Thank goodness you found them,” replies Toriel.“Thank you, Gerson.”

“S’what I’m here for,” Gerson replies, grinning.“Anywho, I’ll be off now if ya don’t mind.”

“Of course.”Toriel waves goodbye as he leaves and you feel your pulse quicken as she turns back to you.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her before she can say anything.You back up a little more and find yourself up against the wall.“I thought... I d-didn’t- I...”You swallow and shut your eyes.“I’m sorry.”

When Toriel speaks again, she sounds much closer than she was.“Chara...”You feel her hand on your shoulder and flinch and she retracts her hand and sighs.“Chara, it’s alright.I am not angry.”

You open your eyes to see that she’s kneeling to your height.You meet her eyes momentarily before looking away.“You’re not...?”

“Of course not!I was just _worried_ about you.”She pulls you into another, gentler hug, and when she doesn’t pull away, you hug her back.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” you say, and Toriel laughs softly and hugs you a little tighter.

“It’s alright, my child,” she tells you.“It’s alright.”

* * *

You want to believe in this.

You lie awake, staring at the ceiling, listening to Asriel snore next to you.

You want to believe that you’re safe here.You want to _be_ safe here.But you’re not.You can’t believe for even a second that they really meant what they said.You can’t believe they’d really let you stay.

You roll over and try to sleep.It’s not like you have anywhere else to go.You should just enjoy this while it lasts.You came here to die anyway - it’s not like you have anything to lose.

Asriel’s snores grow louder for a moment, then fade.

It’s warm here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I said, this was originally gonna be the start of a much longer story. I'm just gonna ramble for one sec about what I was planning:
> 
> I had this idea that, like, what if the barrier really COULD be crossed by just a human? What if everyone only thinks that's impossible because Chara, not willing to admit that they want to stay underground, pretends to fail at crossing it, and nobody ever discovers their secret until maybe Frisk?
> 
> Anyway, this is as far as I got with it and it's been literal months since I wrote a single word so I'm leaving it as is.


	2. Free to a Good Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't really want to hurt anyone, but you already have and you will again. The best you can do now is grit your teeth and deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one - Mostly Chara and Toriel
> 
> 1,383 words
> 
> Warnings:  
\- referenced self harm  
\- implied child abuse

You wobble into the hallway, knife still in your hand and the scent of blood obscuring your vision.The blood is yours, though, so it's okay.You peer into the next room, where the monsters are talking quietly among themselves.You think about running away, but it's far too late for that now.

You pad into the room as quietly as you can, and when one of the monsters - Toriel, you think - sees you, she stands quickly and watches you suspiciously, a hand out to protect her son.You take a step forward, and she takes a step back, so you stop.

You'd wanted to hand it to her, but that isn't happening, so instead you just hold the knife out and, hands shaking, let it fall.It clicks harmlessly on the wooden floor.The monster in front of you relaxes minutely and lowers the hand she'd held between you and her son.

You take one step backward, and then two, and once you're out of arm's reach of the knife you lower yourself onto both knees and bow until your forehead touches the ground.Sufficiently hidden, you let your face contort into whatever ugly shape it wants and stop trying to fight the heat rising up in your cheeks.You refuse to cry, though, especially not audibly.

You hear footsteps and you think the monster picks up the knife and approaches you with it.You think about speaking, but you don't think you've earned your words, so you wait silently to feel it in your neck or your back or...

You swallow and screw your eyes shut, even though you couldn't see with them before anyway, as the monster kneels in front of you.You flinch when she touches your back gently and silently berate yourself for it.

"Little one...?" she says, and you think she waits for a response so you swallow as much of your fear as you can and try to answer without your voice breaking.

"Y-yes, ma'am?"You don't show your face, but you sit up just enough that the floor won't block your voice and start trying to mold your expression back into something presentable.

"What are you doing?" she asks, and another pang of fear rises in your gut - you've done something else wrong.

You don't know what part of this is wrong, though, so you keep still and explain yourself and hope she'll tell you what to do."I..." you start, and hesitate, suddenly unsure how to phrase it."I'm sorry," you decide."I'm sorry, and- and I won't t-try to fight again, s-so..." _so please don't kill me.Please don't lock me away in the dark alone.Please don't take my hands, or my eyes._"Please have mercy."

"What?"Toriel's voice is distant, and quiet.

Oh god.

You said that out loud.

"I'm sorry!" you repeat,failing to keep your panic out of your voice.You press your forehead against the ground and continue desperately, "I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean that.I..."You swallow, but don't give her time to speak before you continue, "I don't- w-whatever my punishment is, I- I accept it."You're not trying to get out of this, you're not trying to avoid the consequences, you're not acting like a spoiled brat who doesn't know right from wrong."I'm sorry," you repeat again."I'm sorry."

"It's alright!"Toriel's voice sounds worried."My child, it's alright, you've done nothing wrong."Her hand is on your back again, and she continues, "Please, look at me."

You try to swallow back your tears - you're acting like a toddler, begging not to face what you've done - and wipe your face with your sleeve before you comply, putting everything you have into keeping your expression blank.

Toriel is staring down at you with worry etched into her features."It's alright," she repeats."I am not angry, and nobody here is going to hurt you.You are very safe."

You search her face for the catch, hands clasped together over your knees, and you guess the confusion shows in your face because...

"Nobody was hurt," she says."I understand that you were afraid, and..." she hesitates, and you follow her gaze downward to the knife in her hands."It is understandable to want to defend yourself."Her expression darkens, momentarily, but she smiles when she looks back at you."You have nothing to fear from us, my child.It's alright."

"It's not alright," you tell her, because you don't want to make her angry but you're not _stupid_ and you know better."I tried to kill you.That's not _alright_."You look down at your knees, not wanting her to see your expression."I don't... I don't presume to be above the consequences of my actions," you continue quietly."Whatever..." you add, wiping your eyes with your sleeve again before trying to meet her eyes."Whatever you're going to do... please, _please_ just get it over with."You don't want to die, but more than that you don't want to be left guessing at how long you have left.You look down again and wait for her to speak.

Toriel touches your face gently and you remember that she wanted you to look at her, so you do.She looks down at you with an expression you can only describe as _pained_, and it stirs something in your gut that falls between confusion and guilt."Child," she says, forcefully now, "Listen to me."

You nod shakily, trying and probably failing not to betray your fear.

"Whatever happens," she says, "no matter _what_ you do, or say, or think," she pauses to rest a hand on your shoulder and looks intently into your eyes."I will never.Ever.Harm you.Do you understand?"

You watch her carefully, for longer than you should without giving her an answer, waiting for her to say something else that makes this make any amount of sense.She doesn't.You should say 'yes.'It's what she wants to hear, so you should say that, but you _don't_ understand and the only word you can force out of your throat is, "Why?"

She sighs, and the sound of it makes you want to turn back time so you can just say what she wanted to hear instead."It isn't right," she tells you."It's not right to hurt someone who cannot defend themself."

"I can," you interrupt, even though it's rude."I can defend myself."

Toriel rests a hand on your head and gives you a sad smile."Do I look injured to you, little one?" she asks.

Confused, you look her over, at the place where you're sure you remember hitting her, but you don't see anything there.You bring a hand instinctively to your chest.You couldn't even put a _scratch_ on her.

"Monsters are made mostly of magic," she tells you calmly, "and when it comes to magic, intent is everything."Her hand leaves your head and settles in her lap."If you strike a monster with intent to harm them," she says, "you _will_ harm them.And if you do _not_ want to hurt them, no matter how powerful the blow,"She holds a hand over her chest, as though to show you what you've just seen."You won't."

You look to her face again, the reality of her words just starting to sink in.

"Even a complete stranger," she says, "someone you thought was going to hurt you."She looks down, a smile forming on her face that doesn't quite reach her eyes."Even then, you could not muster the _will_ to do harm."She turns her smile to you, and it starts to look more genuine."I am confident in promising never to harm you," she says, "because I know you will never harm me."She reaches a hand to your face and gently wipes at the space under your eyes.Have you been crying?"Okay?" she asks.

You raise a hand to hers, and the fur on the back of her hand is soft and warm.Words fail you entirely, but you gather the strength to nod.

"Okay," she repeats, sounding relieved."Now, let's get you some food.I believe the pie should be just about cool enough to eat."


End file.
